Habits: Focus Part 2

Many people have offered me advice on keeping my house and providing a good home for my family. All involved forming good habits. I have been open to these ideas but, as I have written before, have the tendency to jump to the championship game, forming in depth schedules that would result in the perfect home. Many plans only worked short term and some didn’t even make it past the planning stage. So I am going to try to continue to tackle this at a slower pace.

It's been amazing how 6 small goals have already made a difference in my Home and House. Our evenings and mornings were much calmer. Not to mention that someone could have shown up unannounced and I would’ve opened the door without first running around filling diaper boxes with everything that was out of place. Though, for now, I still reserve this system for the bad days. Just like you can’t tell a kid once to chew with their mouth closed and break the bad habit, I don’t expect after one week that good habits are set and bad ones broken. The paper piles may be gone, but likely will return to the list someday. For now I will focus on a few new weekly house goals. As a whole my main focus stayed the same. (You can view this week’s goals on the Focus page) Below is the outline that I will continue to follow, for now.J

Goals for a Better Home:

·         Personal Focus to better my relationship with God.

·         Get rid of distractions at key times of each day.

·         Add something that gives more of me to my family.

Goals for a Better House:

·         Start the day with a house in order, I have been told how well this works for years, why didn’t I listen sooner.

·         Start each evening with the house in order.

·         Work on week-long project(s) to better the house.

I eventually hope to move past the simple habits stage and start to produce more routines to tackle household jobs. I do have a few working schedules already but many things just happen when it gets so bad they can’t wait anymore or we are having company. I think developing these allow more time for my family. I want to be able to do the activity my kids and/or husband suggest without housework lurking in the back of my mind because I am continually behind. 

There are a few things I’d like to point out.  I want to clarify that each day if I check off all my goals I will not sit and watch TV. There is still plenty to be more to be done. My goals are for weekdays, which I forgot to mention before. Weekends are a whole different beast. Many Mondays are spent catching up. Most importantly as I have seen over my 13+ years of parenting these goals will adjust to fit different times in my life, and even different seasons.  As we all know if you have a newborn sometimes starting your day right might mean you were dressed and teeth brushed by 9:00. We are past this stage in our family, but our schedule changes a lot throughout the year. With 5 active kids we don’t always get to eat dinner as a family, so instead we may have a family bedtime snack. We need to be flexible, but always reserve time for the important things.  Everything else is up for negotiation day by day.    

PS How about those #1 ranked Kansas State Wildcats!

Family Time

K-State Rocks!

Purple and white through the night, Go K-State!  This is a song my younger two girls like to sing. I don’t know if they made it up or heard it somewhere, but it is their cheer for our favorite team.  As we prepare for the weekend our common question comes up. ”What time does K-State play?” For those of you who don’t live in Kansas, most everyone here is either a Wildcat or a Jayhawks fan. 

We are definitely Wildcat fans! When I was pregnant the 4^th time our oldest asked us, “What will we do if the new baby likes KU?”  We avoid the colors of blue and red unless white is included and even then it must be clear that we are being patriotic. 

I can still remember one of my friends saying when I chose KSU for a school,” At least you could’ve picked a school with a good football team.”  I was thoroughly entertained when KSU tied their school the first year and beat them many times after. Then of course, look at them now!

Wildcat pride is not what I am writing about, though it does make me smile. I have been thinking about what great family time we have supporting our teams.  Each weekend and some evenings during basketball season we all watch or listen to the games. Yes, I said listen because we don’t have cable so sometimes we listen to them on the radio. The older kids can follow quit well without seeing it, and the younger ones just know what it means when they say, “Good for a Wildcat Touchdown!”  We put on our colors, prepare game snacks, stand with hands over our hearts for the national anthem, and then enjoy the game. Enjoying the game is different for everyone. Some are more concerned with making and/or eating the snacks, some intently watch each play, others watch periodically as they play on the floor. Regardless we are spending time together and everyone cheers when our team scores. 

This team spirit also provides many conversations in our house.  There has been much talk this week about whether or not Collin Klein will play. Our oldest may update us on team stats, or my 1^st grader might tell us which of her friends are KSU fans and which like KU. My son even helps me follow one of my teams, the Broncos. He normally says, “Did you see how your Broncos did yesterday Mom?” Sometimes he is just likes giving me a hard time and they all think it’s funny to call the greatest quarterback ever “John Smellway.” At least they are showing interest in something I like. That is what family does, why do you think I started watching the Chiefs, they were like KU to me as a kid.    

One of the most fun traditions we have is our Super bowl party. We make snacks, a cookie pizza that we decorate with both teams, print super bowl bingo off the internet and enjoy the evening.  My sister called one year as we were getting ready and asked who we were having over. Just us, I said. Though we do invite people to join us sometimes, most of our game day events are just us. I’m not sure how long it will stay that way and it is not a big deal if the kids want friends join us. It’s just nice to be together.

I know sports aren’t everything, and a good football team is no reason to choose a college. But when you find something your family can enjoy together, whatever your K-State may be, I say embrace it! 

                                                          GO WILDCATS!

Politics, One Mom's View

I would like to share a couple of Political conversations from my house.

When I asked my oldest son if they talked about politics at school, he responded, “One time at lunch a kid said maybe if Romney gets elected we’ll get more food at lunch”.

During the last presidential election my younger son participated in a mock election and selected his president by their favorite food and sport. He asked me why I didn’t vote for Obama and I said, “He doesn’t believe in the same things as me.” “Like what mom, ghosts?”

Wouldn’t it be nice if politics were this simple? I could just pack my kids lunches and tell them there is no such thing as ghosts.

Last night was very hard for me. You may think I’m silly, but I have already cried several times over the election.  It was hard to watch so many speeches celebrating ideas that are opposite my values. I ended up dozing off before the final results were in. When my husband woke me later to go to bed he asked, “Did you hear who won?” From the tone in his voice I already knew. I just wanted to plug my ears like a child. Maybe if I didn’t hear it, it wouldn’t be true. After 4 years of watching this president, and finding out what he was all about, people still voted for him and others that stand for the same principles.  How could we be so outnumbered? 

My first thought was, “Idiots!”, and several more thoughts after that were the same.“We just have to stay positive”, my husband said. I returned, “How can I support someone that stands for so many things I am against?” I was then told, “You don’t have to support him, just stay positive.”

  

 Our conversation reminded me of a religious radio show I heard a couple weeks ago. “Love thy neighbor.”  This was going to be hard, just hours ago I called half of them idiots.  What this program pointed out is Love thy neighbor does NOT mean you compromise your morals and values. It means standing your ground, but taking the time to try to reach out to all and to lead them down a different path if necessary. Who has time for that! Isn’t it easier to just let them be? No one said life was easy, we need to MAKE time. Just because the election did not turn out how I wanted, doesn’t mean the battle is over. The road will just be a little harder. 

What does this mean?

First begin at home. God has given my husband and I five blessing that we are responsible for giving a solid base of Faith to build their lives on. This is a large responsibility as it has become more evident over the past few months that we live in a world that will often try to teach my kids the opposite lesson I want them to learn. 

Second reach out a little farther. It is our duty as friends, family, and Christians to be living examples of what Jesus taught. We heard a lot about trickle down methods during the election. The only trickle down method that works comes from God. “For nothing is impossible for God” (Luke 1:37)

“We the people” can make a difference, but we have to start building from the bottom.  Every person you touch builds that foundation.  God cares about even the smallest pieces of life, so why shouldn’t we. No more skipping the hard conversation and there is no room for compromising your values.  You only have to reach one person to start the chain of events.

Then when you’re not sure what to do next, PRAY!  That is how I was final able to fall asleep last night.

“Today we find ourselves back in 1776-but this time our path forward isn’t so clear-cut. The abuses being perpetrated by our government are just as obvious now as they were then, but instead of rising up with a collective voice, we sit idly by and watch as our hard-won freedoms slowly dissolve into a puddle of apathy, political correctness, and outright corruption…………………………...Do not remain neutral. Do not let others speak for you. Silence has gotten us nowhere so it’s once again time for our collective voice to make a simple yet powerful demand…  Don’t Tread on Me.”  

                                                                                    -- from Glenn Beck’s book, "Common Sense"        

Daily Score

mom2five Goal App
Check out the mom2five app in the side bar. It's not a real app to download(ha ha) I am learning more but I'm not that savy in technology yet. You can now click if you have your goals set, when goals are achieved and once to cheer everyone on!



To any that wanted to comment and had trouble I adjusted my settings on comments hopefully this will help. I think you can now comment anonymously.



Week of Nov 12-16
Day 1(Nov 12) Score: mom2five 7, ones that got by 1
Day 2(Nov 13) Score: mom2five 6, ones that got by 2
Day 3(Nov 14) Score: mom2five 7, ones that got by 1
Day 4(Nov 15) Score: mom2five 6, ones that got by 2 

Final Results for the Week of Nov. 6-10
 Day 1 Score (Nov 6):  mom2five 4-1/2,  ones that got by 1-1/2.For those of you that know me, getting dressed by 9:00 was NOT one I missed, though I had to stop typing and run to my room to get it done :).
Day 2 Score (Nov 7):   mom2five 4, ones that got by 2 (Rough day for the house)
Day 3 (Nov8): mom2five 5-1/2, only 1/2 got by. Almost a shut out, but I forgot to make my bed, darn!
Day 4 (Nov 9): mom2dfive 6! (OK it was 9:05 when finished the morning chores, but that was pretty close)

You can’t win the Championship before Winning a Game. Focus Part 1

Kids are awesome. Who else can walk away from a soccer game after losing 0-18 and say, “They had 37 shots on goal Mom, I blocked 19!” My son had many games like this during his season and he never got discouraged. One game a player on the other team said,”Wow this goalie is short.  I’m going to score 10 goals on him.” My son informed me after the game with a smile on his face, “He never scored one.”  Each game was a new start and a chance to win. His field was one full of wishes, not weeds. The team did end up with one win and a tie, but the rest were pretty lopsided. He was a well practiced Goalie and he enjoyed every minute of it and I was proud of him. 

 Despite the fact I would love to continue logging all my proud moments of my kids’ fall soccer season. This story was just a reminder to me of the struggle I had yesterday.  I spent hours trying to write something for the blog, should it be on politics, maybe faith, or financial challenges. Hours with my head spinning and nothing getting done around the house or with my kids who were off of school yesterday. I finally decided I’d rather do the dishes.  So about lunch time I moved on for the day.

Why was I making this so hard? I don’t need another thing to distract me; I have plenty to do that already. So how was I going to make this work? 

 I thought about my first posting, and how it was suppose to lead me to better focus in my life.  It did, for the goal of being a better mother, winning the Championship Game if you will. I still needed a plan for the season games, my daily life. So I thought about my time in sports and things I did to improve. I had a plan for each practice, each race, and I set goals to get there.  Why didn’t I have a plan for my daily life?   

So my training plan begins by adding a Focus tab to my blog. This is where I will post my goals each week.  In the spirit of proper goal setting I am starting with “realistic” goals. This week’s list is small, and simple. But each one better aligns my focus with what is important to me. I am going to use my blog and all of you to hold me accountable. You don’t have to comment, just knowing someone else knows, helps keep me in line.  

My goals this week fall into two categories, a better Home and a Better House.  The Better Home goals are to give my family more of me and the Better House goals are to create a cleaner more organized place to live.  Anyone is welcome to join me if you like. Share your list or just your accomplishments by commenting. We can all “Cheer” each other on.  Kind of like a Mom’s Nike App.  

Some days we will win and others we may lose 0-18. Regardless, I plan to be proud of the 19 blocked goals, and have confidence that next time I will catch a few more of the ones that got by.

Each day is a new Game, so play on!

 (I will surely get a “You’re a dork” from my husband for this one! J)

P.S. Don’t forget to put on your goals today:    1. PRAY   2. VOTE

What Do I Want to be When I Grow Up?

What do you want to be when you grow up? This not an uncommon question asked to kids and teenagers, but when my husband asked me in my 30’s it seemed a little out of place.  I laughed, thinking he was just joking. What was he talking about I already went to college, and I was a grown up. The more I thought about it I realized that is was a good question.

Let me give you a little background leading up to our conversation. I had the perfect set up, I had been working part time from home for 13years while we raised our 5 children. About quarter time engineering and the rest being a mom. The building market slowed and the company I worked for no longer had enough projects to keep me busy. Though I worked minimal hours I couldn’t believe how much this change impacted me.  I had worked for the same company since I graduated, if went elsewhere I would likely have to spend many hours working to prove I was a worthwhile employee. With one child still at home and 4 busy school age kids, there were things I wasn’t willing to give up. I still wanted to be the person asked to read a mid afternoon story or the one to hear how their day went as they stepped off the bus.  So where did that leave me? Engineering was something that had been in my life since high school. I felt like giving it up would be giving up part of me.

 When I was a college student I had such great focus on my career, I had it all planned out. As we all know so well, life changes. Now my family was my focus. Losing my job as an engineer was a blessing and an opportunity.  Though I enjoyed working, right now that career was not my passion; I think I knew this even before I lost my job. Just because I wasn’t designing buildings anymore didn’t make me any less me. Shifting my focus didn’t mean I was giving up that career forever, it just meant it didn’t fit in my life right now, and that was OK.  I had so much work to do at home and I don’t mean housework (though I have a lot of that too). I realized that I wasn’t giving my best at the most important and rewarding career I will ever have, being a mother. Before I could start any new “job” outside the home I needed to focus on being the best at the one I already had. After all as a little girl I dreamt of being a mother long before I even knew what an engineer was.   

So as I try to focus myself to one career, I realize that it’s not always about what we want to be when we grow up. Sometimes it’s just about, defining who you are in this moment in your life. Just like the 4 year old girl who once wanted to be a princess or the little boy wanting to be ninja turtle. We too as adults will continually reshape our focus and adjust our plans. So don’t be afraid every now and then, no matter how old you are, to ask yourself that question, “What do I want to be when I grow up?”