Calm your storm! |
It has been a busy first month of school. With our oldest 4 children
in school we span three different schools this year, Elementary, Middle School
and High School. I still am lucky enough to have the little one home with me.
The first day was hard. It always seems I spend the last
week of summer thinking of all the things we did NOT do and all the missed
opportunities. Darn! I hate it. After school starts it seems we have so little
time together. I just feel so annoyed at the school for taking my kids back.
I dread sending them back but I try to hide it for many
reasons. One the girls love it and are excited, as I always was too. Two my younger
son hates it and I don’t want him to know how deep down I would love to just
keep him home. Three what good does it
do? So instead I fight back the tears, take pictures, and encourage them to
enjoy it. When inside I struggle with what school has to offer for my kids
these days.
Have you ever sat down and looked at your child’s schedule
for the day, especially in elementary school? When my oldest went to middle
school I asked him if he missed having recess. His response, “No, we have more
free time in Middle school to talk to our friends between classes than we had
in elementary school.” That really made
me think, take a look below at a comparison of my 2 graders day vs. a Generic
Work day:
2nd grade School day:
8:50am-4:00pm = 7hrs and 10min in school.
Daily
scheduled unstructured time:
- (1)-15 minute recess. These 15 minutes include lining up twice and walking to and from the playground, a drink, and bathroom break.
- · 30 minute lunch. These 30 minutes include lining up twice and walking to and from the lunchroom, waiting in line to give their name, waiting in line to get their food, clearing their trays, and eating. Kids probably wonder why their parents ever told them to take time to chew.
Daily Total
= 45 minutes of free time (free time really?) and 6 hrs and 25 min of work.
A Generic work day: 8:00am-5:00pm
= 9 hours.
In many
trades or jobs this is the expectation for “scheduled” breaks:
- (2) 15minute breaks, not to mention the various times throughout the day people are able to stop and visit with each other, try that at school and you will get time deducted from your (1) 15 minute recess.
- 1hour lunch. Though this may involve a bit of travel and waiting if you choose, it is still twice what the kids are allotted.
Daily totals=
1-1/2hours of free time (likely more) & 7-1/2hours of work.
A 7 year old is expected to put in only a little more than
an hour less work in a day than an adult. That is a long day for a kid. That doesn’t even include the chance of
homework, or recommended reading time or flash cards at home. Then add on any extra- curricular events and
their day is packed full. We wonder why the kids get a little unruly! They
never have a chance to breath, much less eat, drink, and go to the bathroom
without hurrying!!!
Take a day
and visit your kid’s school at lunch. They
likely are making a choice to have time to eat or talk. If they talk they are
quickly quieted by crabby staff that is frustrated by the noise level. It is really not a relaxing experience. When
my kids talk about organizing teams to play at recess I wonder, how could they
have time, but bless their little hearts they make it happen. Then look how many kids you will find walking
because they are being punished for who knows what as there is a long list of
opportunities to lose recess time. What about bathroom and drink breaks? Kids are forced into choosing between recess
time and going to the bathroom or getting a drink. What do you think your child
would choose?
How do we make this better for our kids? Home School? I won’t lie this thought enters
my mind often. This is not an easy option or a decision to be made lightly or
without prayer. How about letting your
school and administrators know your opinions? I do, and in my experiences it will
not make a lot of difference. Many times they are detached from what is best
for kids general needs, because they are so focused on what they think is best
for their education.
It’s easy to lose focus, I watch myself do it at home. As I
complain about the school day I am having flashes of parallels at home. Look at
an evening from an outsider’s perspective. I many times am that crabby staff. When
they walk through the door they are greeted by a hurry up we have to get ready
to go, no talking, just eat! We leave and
sometimes put 50+ driving miles in one night and are back home just in time(if
we are lucky) to do homework find out which clothes are not clean that are
needed the next day and head to bed. Trying to give them everything they need to
only miss the simple things they truly need.
So how do I make this
better? I’ll keep trying and sharing my ideas outside the home to push for a
change in our busy world and I hope you do too. In the mean time let’s try to make
the best of the time we control with our children. Let’s not be extreme and
say no chores and no structure, which is what I want to do sometimes. Find the
right balance of learning that responsibility and being a kid. Manage their responsibilities to work into their
schedules while still allowing them time to be free. Don’t be afraid to say no
to some of those extra activities. Above all be more understanding. When they
walk through that door they are hungry, thirsty, tired and sometimes CRABBY. Greet them with love and a sense of calmness.
Let them unwind even if you only for a few minutes. Don’t hit them with a “hurry
up and get ready” before they even get all the way in the house. It’s OK to
secretly make life easier for them at times, no one will know. Find the balance
of their responsibility and your help. Find your level of survival to have the
best life for your family.
One thing I enjoy about writing a blog is how sometimes the
process of writing my problem leads me to a solution! I realize that in the end
when I think I am giving advice to others, I have really given advice to myself.
Interesting how that works.