Friday, April 26, 2013

Moms vs Moms



What kind of Mom are you? A MOM!




I recently read two different blogs with what appear to be different outlooks on Mothers.   After I read the first Awesome Mom's on iPhones. I thought, “Yes we shouldn’t be so hard on Mom’s they are busy not to mention we don’t know their story!” I then read the second Dear Mom With an iPhone and my eyes were filled with tears.  I realized that really the two stories tell one, the story of being a Mom in today’s world.  I battle it daily many of you have read my failures and sometimes, though they may be brief, successes.  PTO, sports mom, part time, full time or no job it is the same for us all. Trying to find the right balance of spending real time with your kids and still fitting in all the other stuff.

Our struggle to be perfect in the eyes of society is the great battle of this generation of Moms. We feel we should be able to do it all. It used to be that Mom’s stayed home and cared for the family and that was enough. Then came the career women and the thought that staying home wasn’t enough.  Today many Moms’ are choosing to go back to the “old fashion” ways and stay home with their kids. It is different though because they have an underling feeling that they should be doing more.  If you stay home, you should either work from home, part time or nights. If not you should be volunteering to uphold your role in society.  I have heard one Mom say, “I am home so I should be doing more for school than those that work.” Why? Those that work pay someone to do what you do all day with your kids. I am guilty for falling into this misconception too. I want to be super Mom. Not to mention it feels good when someone says. “You did a great job organizing that fundraiser, how do you get that all done when you have 5 kids?” Thus my constant checking of emails to be sure I respond promptly.  It is easy to lose perspective on WHY I chose to stay home. I want to watch them smile and “spin in their dresses” as the second author says. I want to look at their art work and listen to their stories about something I may not really be interested in. You never know when you will catch a glimpse of a Vango or when the day may come that you will want to know their stories and they won’t care to share

 Do I think a mom should never be on an I-phone or have time to herself?  No. It is technology that has allowed so many Moms’s to have a piece of both worlds and the chance to still be there for those moments. I know how refreshing it is to have a conversation with an adult every now and then. Not to mention that Mom may be texting her teenager. Even though I don’t have a fancy phone we all find our distractions. I am as guilty as the next: “Uh huh I see”, when I don’t.  Just a minute honey, I’ll look when I get done with this email”, and I forget.  I can’t do it right now I am too busy getting dinner ready. Gabbing to a friend at a game and missing a great catch. Is it the end of the world? No. But it is their world and it those moment pass quickly. Don’t throw away your I-Phone yet, just work on the balance of it all. We many times miss those simple joys because we are too busy tackling the next big event and remember if those other things don’t get done it isn’t the end of the world either. Looking amazing in the eyes of others means nothing if you miss your opportunity to be amazing in the eyes of your family.  

What is the perfect balance?  I don’t know and will likely never know.  What I do know is I have watched my husband’s stress melt away for a moment when he arrives home and the kids run to him, hug and tell them their stories and he listen intently.  So I think as Moms we need to realize that even though our days are dedicated to caring for our children and families we need to allow ourselves those moments to enjoy them because there is a difference. You see the compliments of being a good Mom come in a different package, they are the tiny moments. We may find that those stories and cartwheels give us the break we are looking for from the 24 hour job of being a Mom.

So let peace be had on both sides, the moms on the iPhone and those playing on the swings.  I can relate to both, I have been both! Remember we are all on the same team. We are the generation striving to be the best at it all and when or if someone figures out the right balance PLEASE let me know!

Until then get your work done, get your chores done, be a good employee, friend and volunteer but also take time to run barefoot in the grass, play chase, and watch them go down the slide yet another time.  Take a minute to smell that weed/flower that is brought to you.  You may find that the scent may actually bring YOU peace and enjoyment, just like it does your child.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Trying to Find my Rhythm Again! Focus Goals for April 22




It always amazes me how it only takes a one busy day for my house to fall apart and weeks to get back in the rhythm. I did make some headway last week, but I have a ways to go.  Still struggling to get things done around the house before doing the “other things.”  It is sad how I feel urgent to get things done for others but yet a back log of laundry seems to be OK to put off.  I would say that it is OK to put some household tasks on the back burner, for a short time that is. When it becomes the norm people start running out of socks and underwear! So I am still focusing this week on getting back into routine.

Updates:

Science Fair: Two of the three projects are complete.Nothng too exciting. In fact the boards and reports not very thorough, but no different than any other year and everyone seems to get an A. I really should put more expectations on the kids myself for these projects since they don't at school. It just seems like it falls in such a busy time of year for us. Of course when is not busy?

Chickens: They have hatched! It was an exciting weekend. They started to peck through on Friday and we discovered the 1st one Sat. morning. We left for a day of soccer and baseball and came home to several more. A couple hatched after we were home. Most of the remaining eggs hatched overnight Sat to Sun. The last two hatched while we were at soccer and baseball on Sunday. We candled them again after my Weds. Post and found that 4 were not alive anymore. So we were left with 17 eggs and ALL 17 hatched! Their cage now sits in the corner of my kitchen.

Weather: It’s SNOWING! I can’t help but enjoy the beautiful big snowflakes despite the fact that it is April 23. This is also why the chicks are in my kitchen and not the garage it’s too cold! There is sleet and snow in the forecast all day. So another day to send emails for cancelled soccer practice, what a crazy spring we are having. Crossing my fingers the baseball game is cancelled too and we will have 2 nights in a row at home!



  Meals:  We did have a couple “real” meals to finish off last week. I cheated and ordered pizza one night. I really need to dig out some of my old easy recipes for weeknight meals.  I have definitely lacked in meal planning lately.

Well no where to go during the day today, so if I get off the computer and make good use of my time,  there is a chance I may be back on schedule for laundry!

FOCUS Goals for week of April 22, 2013
New Goals, comments, and excuses are in purple below.

Goals for a Better Home
1. Personal Focus to better my relationship with God.
·         Start and end each day with prayer. Read two chapters in the Bible.   
·         Run if I can. (Does Running to get to a game, or leaving one game to get to the other count? I am in a sad state for exercise right now!)

2. Remove distractions at key times.
·         No computer 6:30-8:00am and 3:00-5:00pm   
·         No volunteering tasks until my family tasks are underway each day.   

3. Add something to give more of me to my family.
·         Take a minute when everyone gets home each night to see what is going on with them and what needs to get done. The end of the year is SOOO busy!
·         Feed my family better meals.
Goals for a Better House
1. Daily Check Points: Work harder on my Daily Check Points to avoid falling farther behind.
2. Weekly: Catch up on tasks and “to do list”.
Mon: Catch UP! Laundry! Turn in final t-shirt order for soccer teams, pickup game scores from the weekend. Clean out chicken incubator.
Tues: Catch UP! Clean out chicken cage, boy they make a mess fast. Post Soccer League game scores. Laundry! Soccer Email updates.
Weds: Catch up! Soccer Email Updates.
Thurs: Catch up! Pick up Team T-shirts hopefully??
Fri: Catch up! Soccer lineups for Fri & Sat.. Prep for the last CCD class. Almost summer despite the snow J
3. Monthly: Projects and deep cleaning still on hold until I get caught up.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

The Great Balancing Act, with Focus Goals April 16, 2013






Well it has been 3 weeks since I posted anything not even focus goals. You may be wondering what I have I been up to or if maybe I just gave up. I’d like to say I have been working so hard around the house that I haven’t had time to write. I have been busy, but it hasn’t been around the house. I seem to have the ability to make everything I do a part time job. Between volunteering for the soccer league, organizing our kid’s teams, church, school, and just transporting everyone where they need to be. I feel like I have been carrying 5 part time jobs at once.  As a result I have 2weeks worth of laundry piled in my living room. Some of which has been refolded who knows how many times because the kids have dug through to find something to wear. The entire house is in disorder which only hinders my progress of getting things done even more. Not to mention the extra things like Science Fair projects and trying to hatch 21 chicken eggs (which if we were smart we would’ve have made that a project). If anyone has hatched chickens before I’d take advice. We have been turning 3 times a day, at least most days, watching the temperature and candling them to check how they are doing. We are quickly approaching 21 days of incubation and when I candled them last week they all looked like something was in there to us. I am too afraid to throw out the iffy ones for fear there is a living chick inside. Google searches have warned against keeping the bad ones because the egg with explode at the end. So we are either going to have more chicks than we know what to do with or a MESS! Maybe after we lost our chickens to the food chain this winter should have just purchased them again at the farm store? I am crossing my fingers for 21 chicks, though it will be an adventure either way.

Anyway back to the point.

How do I balance it all? I don’t have the answer to that question. All I know is something is going to have to give, because right now it is my kids and husband that are suffering. For dinner last night half my family had cereal. Not oatmeal or cheerios but chocolate lucky charms. So that is why I am forcing myself to sit down 2 days late this week and get focused because if I don’t I am going to fall of the tight rope or explode along with the chicken eggs.

Below are my focus goals in simple version, I am still working on the "to do list". I am going to have to let go of the big picture and concentrate on the small things to help me catch up.

WISH ME LUCK With LIFE AND THE CHICKENS!
This is our breakfast nook with egg incubator


This is my dining room with laundry. No wonder we are not eating meals there is No where to eat!
FOCUS Goals for week of April 15, 2013
New Goals, comments, and excuses are in purple below.

Goals for a Better Home
1. Personal Focus to better my relationship with God.
·         Start and end each day with prayer. Read two chapters in the Bible.   
·         Run if I can.

2. Remove distractions at key times.
·         No computer 6:30-8:00am and 3:00-5:00pm   
·         No volunteering tasks until my family tasks are underway each day.   

3. Add something to give more of me to my family.
·         Take a minute when everyone gets home each night to see what is going on with them and what needs to get done. The end of the year is SOOO busy!
·         Feed my family better meals.
Goals for a Better House
1. Daily Check Points: Work harder on my Daily Check Points to avoid falling farther behind.
2. Weekly: Catch up on tasks and “to do list”.
3. Monthly: Cleaning and projects will have to wait until next week or maybe the week after.