After a windy night and a snow storm blowing in this morning
it has finally calmed down. A half hour of prep time and the kids are out
playing in the beautiful snow. No school
today due to the weather. The kids were actually a little disappointed as there
were activities they were looking forward to. I, on the other hand was glad to
have them home. After a hard week of
sending them to school and praying for their safety I have been longing for
Christmas break. Only Friday left now and they will be home for a few weeks.
I went outside
briefly to get a few pictures, wondering if this could be our only snow this
year. Then my first grader took me to see her snow Angel, it was beautiful. How
amazing to have a beautiful snow for them to play in, they were so excited they
hardly ate breakfast. Despite my awe of
the snow I head back inside because I did not spend a half hour dressing so my
fingers were freezing.
When I was back inside the feeling I’ve had many times this
week comes back. Like many other mothers around the world it will be a long
time before my heart doesn’t ache for the families who have lost loved ones last
week. Tears fill my eyes for their moments lost, with each one I gain. I didn’t
want to write about what happened, it’s Christmas. I wanted to write about our tree and other
final preparations. I don’t feel like I can write anything else, unless I write
this first.
Just like the storm that blew through Kansas last night a
storm of evil blew through the US last week. It began on Thursday in Topeka
with a 2 year old lost after a dog attack, continuing on Friday with one of the
worst tragedies I ever knew in a small town Elementary school in Connecticut
and the weekend ended with two Topeka Police officers losing their life in the
line of duty on Sunday. Not a lot of Christmas spirit to see on the television
this past weekend. I turned it off or
changed the station many times because I didn’t want the kids to have to hear
it all, and selfishly I didn’t want to hear it.
I am lucky, I can turn it off there are 30 families that cannot. It is a
helpless feeling. I will likely never understand why so much evil happens in
our world. So all I can do is pray. Pray
for their families, friends, and the individuals lost. Then pray that our world
will change so that someday the reports of good outweigh the bad on the nightly
news.
As Christmas approaches I hope we can all find strength in
the miracle of Jesus’ birth and what he brought to our world because evil
cannot take that away. Trust in God and know Jesus’ was with each one of those
children and adults last week.
For God will
hide me in his shelter in time of trouble,
Will conceal me in
the cover of his tent and set me high upon a rock. Psalm 27:5
Though it may be hard we must be thankful for Christmas
because without Jesus we have nothing.
So when I feel guilty
for my moments staring at the tree lights with my 1st grader, I will
remember what the celebration is about and just hold her closer. Despite what
some say, showing our love WILL make a difference by adding more good to our
world. Jesus’ light will guide the way,
just as the light of the Star guided the Wise Men to Jesus after his birth.
Be near me Lord
Jesus, I ask thee to stay
Close by me forever,
and love me, I pray.
Bless all
the dear children in thy tender care,
And fit us
for heaven to live with thee there.
(The
final verse from Away in the Manger)